He Said, She Said: Making Sense of Dialogue Tags

Most creative writing guides offer a list of synonyms for the word "said," to avoid monotony and allow more emotional expression in character dialogue. Instead of John said, Alice said, these guides suggest alternatives like John stammered, Alice scoffed, John gasped, Alice tittered. It's valuable advice -- in small doses.

Beginning writers tend to get carried away with the exciting new alternatives, replacing every instance of the word "said" with a more demonstrative verb, until their characters look like emotionally unhinged train wrecks. The end result is, at best, distracting; at worst, hilarious.  Compare the following two passages, one with boring he said, she said dialogue tags, and the other with excessive use of a thesaurus.

Passage #1:

"What do you think of it so far?" Alice asked.
"Well," said John, "I think it got off to a good start."
"Does that mean you didn't like the end?" asked Alice.
"Honestly?" John asked.
"Honestly," Alice said.
"I think it went downhill pretty fast," said John.
"You're right, it doesn't have much content," said Alice.
"I'm already bored," said John.

Passage #2:

"What could it be?" I questioned.
"I've never seen readings like this before," he babbled.
"It could be a sentient species," I hissed.
"Too bad we're too far from Earth to ever report our findings," he chortled.
"I wonder if we could ever communicate with another race," I confessed.
"Wait, I'm losing the signal," he whimpered.
"Try to triangulate its source using our trajectory," I roared.

The first example is acceptable, but leaves something to be desired. The characters are speaking in a vacuum. The second example picks dialogue tags pretty much at random; it makes the characters look insane and the author look like an amateur. Both are very common among novice writers, usually as a result of the writing advice they were given in secondary school, but by using elements of both, you can easily make your writing more sophisticated.

Here's a more specific, balanced guide to help you indicate who is speaking, without overwhelming the reader with your characters' theatrical speaking styles.

1. There's nothing wrong with "said" (or "asked").

Writing manuals warn that repeated use of "said" is too dull and monotonous, but perception studies have shown that readers barely even notice the word as their eyes skim over it. Like a punctuation mark, "said" is registered on an almost subliminal level, so the reader tracks the change in speaker but stays immersed in the dialogue. More forceful tags like hollered, spat, murmured, or pronounced disrupt a reader's attention, especially when the chosen tag is not a good match for the line.  And definitely be sparing with non-emotional synonyms for said, like stated, remarked, or disclosed. Those verbs belong in a scholarly or newspaper article.

2. Don't use a dramatic verb to prop up a weak line of dialogue.

The characters, not the narration, should carry the emotions of a scene. If you feel that you have to use a tag like stormed, sighed, or sobbed to convey the emotion and delivery of a line, see if you can make the line itself more powerful instead, through word choice and/or punctuation. 

Weak: "Get out, I don't want to see you anymore," Alice screamed and sobbed.
Stronger: "Out! Get out!" Alice sobbed. "I never want to see you again!"

3. Use the surrounding action to differentiate dialogue.

Give your narrative variety, and kill several birds with one stone, by using a character's motions, body language, or other descriptions to show who is speaking. This approach breaks up the monotony of a long dialogue, keeps the plot moving forward during conversations, and adds depth and vitality to a scene. Example:

Sam returned and set full tumblers of bourbon in front of each of them. "You'd better be careful who you tell your pet theories to. Clahan's a big name in this town, and he's not afraid to stamp out this kind of rumor at its source, if you follow me."
"But you believe me, don't you?" John's knuckles whitened on the arms of his chair, whiskey ignored for now. "This isn't just corruption, this is murder."
"Sure, but I'm not the one you have to convince." Sam swiveled his chair behind the desk, turning to look out over the skyline. "I'm retired, remember? I don't have any pull in this city anymore."

This approach allows forward motion, scenery description, and character development, and it should still be clear who is talking.

4. Avoid the truly ridiculous.

Don't confuse dialogue tags with facial expressions. Snidely Whiplash at his most dastardly couldn't actually sneer a line; that's an action, not a way of saying something. Likewise, grin, frown, scowl, and pout are not good dialogue tags. Keep the word if it fits, but phrase it correctly, as an action.

Good: John grinned. "So what did you bring me?"
Silly: "I knew you would bring me something," John grinned.

Be careful with animal, weather, and musical concepts. Roared, thundered, erupted, trumpeted, caroled, barked, and hissed are all highly vivid and melodramatic, but they only work if they are a truly perfect fit for the line. If your choice of such a tag is even a little off-target, your dramatic moment will read like a Madlib.

Good: "Rage, blow, you cataracts and hurricanoes!" roared King Lear into the teeth of the rising gale.
Silly: "I only have to work a half-day tomorrow," bugled the accountant.

No puns in dialogue tags. None. Aficionados of the ham-handed Tom Swift adventure stories may remember the groan-worthy puns that peppered each chapter; these were corny in the 1920s and they have not improved with time. Resist the temptation.

"We'd better run," he said evasively.
"There's no air in your tire," he said flatly.
"I'm trying to finish Old Yeller," he said doggedly.

Disclaimer: With the exception of the quote from King Lear, all dialogue samples in this post were created by the author expressly for this purpose. No other published works were quoted or copied.