The World Needs Proofreaders

Misspelled ads, comments, and assorted strangeness from the recesses of the Internet.

October 8, 2012: Free Dow Morks!

Not authorized by any proofreaders, English teachers, or political advisors either, I see. Even ignoring the mercenary approach to capitalization, what is a "candidatre"? What's worse, the designer misspelled the party's own URL: "Freedowmorks." Gaffes like this seriously undermine the credibility -- and the web traffic -- of writers who don't invest the time to get them proofread. How much would it be worth to make sure your target audience can find your website?

The only way this could be salvaged is if there is actually an individual named Dow Morks, being unfairly held as a political prisoner somewhere, and the ad is in fact campaigning for him to be free. 

That still doesn't explain "candidatre," of course.

August 13, 2012: Sound medical advice.

In the event of a stomach ulcer, WebMD recommends

Avoid spicy foods, alcohol, caffeine, and smoking cigarettes.Establish regular eating habits, and try to redo stress.

"Redo" stress? I'm sure they don't intend for ulcer patients to repeat all their stressful activity. They probably meant "reduce stress."
This kind of word choice error is called an eggcorn -- a "slip of the ear," where a word is mistaken or substituted for one that sounds nearly identical. Other examples include saying "chock it up" (instead of "chalk it up"), or "signal out" (instead of "single out").

August 10, 2012: Well, they spelled "air" correctly.

Unfortunately, the rest of the ad is a loss.

August 8, 2012: The left side of the pseudo your finger.

Would you guess that this is a manufacturer's description of a laptop?  There is a kind of poetry to it... but it is perhaps not the most informative consumer review.

Vocabulary bonus: A 'bezel' is a grooved ring holding the glass or crystal cover of an instrument in place. 

Continue to make decisions that they have an elegant design, beautiful carvings on each corner. look at the interior side, they put a glossy coating on the palm rest that is like a cold for the rest of ceramic on the left side of the pseudo your finger (which is also happening on the lid), then a thin bezel framing the screen to provide a broader perspective.

August 2, 2012: Points for trying?

From a Facebook comment:

"There, their, and they're. Get it right, your in college."

July 30, 2012: Hosting any spacial oceans this summer?

From a sign advertising its catering services:

"We Cater For

Parties Birthdays, Wedding

& all Spacial Oceans" 

July 25, 2012: That sounds challenging

In the job history section of his resume, one applicant boasted of 

"Two years in Europe managing hostiles." 

July 24, 2012: Xenophobe, heal thyself

This is just unfortunate.

July 23, 2012: Telekinetics Wanted

Leaving aside the question of whether this position is part- or full-time, how can you possibly telecommute to a warehouse loading job?

"Established building supply company is seeking a qualified candidate to fill a full time warehouse position. Qualified candidates need to be the ability to lift 45 lbs.. Telecommuting is ok. This position is part time."

July 19, 2012: Ad for Jesus leather?

Technically, every word is spelled correctly, but I have no idea what this ad is trying to sell. Synthetic Jesus leather, apparently.

"You can go for rdg model that's bought appears outside the house or possibly agile variation which includes obtains the less harsh sense in addition to in the need for. Will even this unique hermes provides you with a solution available many clothing or amazing synthetic leather regarding crocodile or jesus."