So You Have a Manuscript: What Editors Need From Writers

“Here’s the draft, do you need anything else to work on it?”

I get this question quite frequently. It’s a great question, one which opens the way for good writer-editor communication, so I’m always happy to be asked.  Sometimes I don’t get the question, and I have to chase the author down to squeeze important information out of them.

Regardless of the length, complexity, creativity, or genre of your manuscript, there are four basic steps that editors need from you, the writer, in order to turn your draft into a polished, streamlined, compelling work.

1.     Make sure all the content is there.

Editors are not psychics, and we can’t edit what isn’t there. If you’ve forgotten to include a vital argument, a key scene, or some of your qualifications in your résumé, your editor has no way to know that. An especially keen editor might be able to tell that something is missing, if it affects the overall logic of the manuscript, but if it isn’t there, it will not be edited. Ideally, you might spot the omission and have time to send it back for a second edit; the more likely scenario is that you turn in a paper that is full of holes, and your boss, publisher, or teacher will call you out on it.

Note: The situation is different for writers of books and other lengthy documents, who might submit only a section at a time for editing, and who might want to work with an editor through multiple drafts and revisions. These authors simply need to work out that arrangement with the editor, including a timetable and payment schedule. This kind of editing is known as content editing, and is a specialized skill; someone who only does proofreading will not offer this assistance.

If you know that your draft is incomplete and you want your editor to simply fill in whatever they perceive as missing, that is known as co-writing or ­ghostwriting, and it puts a lot more responsibility for the content on the editor’s shoulders. Check with your editor first and make sure they understand your expectations and are both willing and able to take that responsibility. Not all editors will. There are professional ghostwriters out there, and you will probably get better results if you start by looking for one of them.

2.     State your needs, requirements, and limitations.

Details, details, details. If your manuscript has to meet specific guidelines – a minimum/maximum word count, inclusion of a certain quote or argument, a number of graphs or charts, or a particular format – let your editor know at the time you submit your draft. If your professor forbids you to use any form of the verb “to be” (I’ve seen it happen), your editor can look out for instances of “were” or “is” and suggest ways to rephrase it. If your presentation must address specific talking points, your editor can advise you on clarity, conciseness, and whether you stray off-topic.

Some of these are clear guidelines imposed on you from outside; others require you to be more self-aware and know your own strengths and weaknesses.

Here are some other things editors would like to know:

• Deadlines (very important)
• Requirements for spacing, margins, fonts, etc.
• Inclusion of graphics, tables, graphs, or appendices
• Specific problem areas (orderly paragraphs, creative metaphors, professional tone, avoiding jargon, writing good intro/conclusion)
• If English is not your first language
• If you have a learning disability, such as dyslexia, which affects writing ability

3.     Have A Point (the 1-sentence rule).

For companies, it’s a mission statement; for job-seekers, it’s a résumé objective; in academics, it’s a thesis. No matter what you’re writing, there should be one concrete sentence that tells the reader your main point. If you’re having trouble fitting your message into one sentence, this may tell you that your ideas are still vague or that you’re trying to cover too many ideas at once.

Good writing needs three things: a message, an audience, and a goal. Having a point to your writing includes all of these. The point is to convey information to specific people, and have them react in a certain way. Try to define all three of these factors, and keep them in mind as you write – then, communicate them to your editor, so your editor can help you stay on target.

Your audience can be almost anyone…but it shouldn't be “everyone.” “Everyone” is not going to read what you write. So, be specific: define your audience as “girls with self-esteem issues, age 12-17” for a teen vampire novel, or “middle-class house hunters in the south Chicago area” for a real estate sales flyer. Your editor can help you tailor the tone, vocabulary, and complexity of your writing to the needs and abilities of your audience.

Note for students: Don’t define your audience as “my teacher.”  Imagine a larger readership base who would be interested in your topic.

Likewise, be specific in your goal. Goals like “inform people” or “get lots of readers” may be accurate, but also vague, and your editor doesn’t have the power to make them happen. Think back to the moment you felt the need to write down your thoughts, and how you imagined your audience would react upon reading them. Perhaps you thought more people would watch a movie based on your review, or that your coworkers would stop breaking the printer if you wrote a clear and helpful manual. Define your goal in concrete terms, and your editor can help shape your manuscript to meet them.

4.     Titles.

Finally, please give your manuscript a title. Even if it’s just “Joe’s Newsletter,” give it a name, and save the document under that name. It helps editors immensely when they don’t have to sort through 20 manuscripts that are all called “Example,” or worse, “Document 1.”

Academic Citations: Why So Complicated?

The reasons for citing one’s sources in an academic paper are easy to understand: to give credit where it is due for your research, to direct readers to other sources of information, and to allow readers to judge the validity and relevance of your sources and how well you have represented them in your paper.  The reasons why citation has to be so complicated are much less clear. Why does it matter if you type (Johnson 1997) or (Johnson, 1997)? Who cares whether you use single- or double-spacing, or a hanging indentation, in your list of references? Who decided that some titles should be italicized, others “placed in quotes,” and still others underlined?  The requirements for where you put a comma can seem sadistically arbitrary, as though there were some shadowy league of professors who have nothing better to do than set up hoops for you to jump through, and judge you when you fail – if you cite a source incorrectly, you’re open to accusations of plagiarism.

Parentheses and Footnotes

In-text citations make perhaps the most sense, because each citation style is used by different academic fields, which value different information about a source. First, the three most commonly used styles in undergrad studies: APA, MLA, and Chicago or CMS. These styles are used in disciplines which emphasize analysis and interpretation of others’ writing and research.

 APA-style citation includes the date, e.g. (Johnson 1997), because it is used in the social sciences, research-based fields where the currency of information and developments in the field are of high importance.  MLA includes page number, e.g. (Johnson 263), as it is used for arts and humanities: fields which focus on authorship and in-depth analysis of specific passages. Chicago/CMS uses footnotes instead of parenthetical citations because the author needs to give more information about each source without cluttering up the page, or provide commentary on a source in the footnote.

Then there are separate styles for many of the physical sciences – math, physics, medicine, etc. – where the focus is more on the current research than on analyzing prior works. Most of these fields use a very minimal type of citation, a simple number in superscript or in brackets with a key at the end of the article that has the full bibliographic information for each source.

Finally, legal style (Bluebook) makes heavy use of citations, because law is so dependent on precedents and court cases; this style combines inline and footnote citations to give as much support to a legal argument as possible.

The Reference/Works Cited/Bibliography Page

Again, some of the differences make sense. IEEE, used by engineers, has guidelines for how to cite technical handbooks and patents; MLA has rules for citing plays and classical literature. Different disciplines, different needs. The ranking of information again comes into play, too; APA style places the date even before the title, where most formats put it at the end, and CSE (used in medicine) abbreviates journal titles because certain words are so common.

The devil is in the details. Align flush left (CSE) or hanging indent (APA)? Spell out authors’ first names (CMS) or first initial only (IEEE)? Italicize journal titles and issue numbers (APA), titles only (MLA), or no italics at all (CSE)? How about citing works that have been translated? There are at least five ways. And is it called a Works Cited, References, Cited Literature, or Bibliography?

Every discipline likes to format this list of sources a little differently, even though they all include the same basic information: author, title, date, page numbers, journal number, and possibly a web address. There are a dozen options, depending on what field you write for. This is where the miniscule differences between citation styles become truly arbitrary – and yet, professors and publishers alike may mark you down if you don’t have every comma, colon, indentation, and parenthesis in place.

Why Is It So Complicated?

Citation formats are inconsistent because most of them originated at different times and places, and for different purposes, and no one has successfully gotten them all co-ordinated into a single, standard style. CMS was developed in 1906 for the University of Chicago, not for writers, but for the typesetters who printed university materials. APA originated in 1928 for similar purposes. MLA wasn’t conceived until 1985, supposedly as a simplification of Chicago. Many other humanities use formats that are based on Chicago, and nearly identical – but not quite. The physical sciences had slightly better luck with consistency, as they share a similar origin (a scientific style manual published c. 1925). But across the board, they all went about it slightly differently.

More importantly, most of these guides were very limited in their original vision. They planned for citing books and journals, the typical study material at the time. Most of the rest was tacked on as the need arose: citing translated editions, specific chapters, personal communications, primary sources, etc., which is why those references are so unwieldy. And, of course, none of them foresaw the internet. The surge of online information, both as a way to archive traditional journals and as a source of new kinds of information from multimedia archives to blogs and wikis, was rapid, complex, and ever-changing, and frankly, the dusty style manual editors have largely failed to keep up.

There is one comprehensive guide to citing online sources: the Columbia Guide to Online Style, which covers lots of variations for both the humanities and the sciences. It is still not widely adopted, possibly because professors prefer not to have to learn a new set of rules. If you use online sources heavily, launch a campaign for this to be used in your class.

The final reason is: Yes, you actually are being made to jump through hoops. These nitpicking rule sets are still in place because your ability to learn and abide by them is seen as a measure of your professionalism, adaptability, and attention to detail, both in the classroom and the publishing office. Like spelling mistakes on a resume, publishers use citation errors as a screening process to rule out huge numbers of submissions without reading them. It’s not fair, but a good editor can help you beat the system.

LogoDaedalus Returns From GenCon

LogoDaedalus is back, after an educational weekend of teaching seminars at GenCon, one of the largest -- if not the largest -- gaming conventions in the United States. The topics of the seminars were gaming, writing, libraries, and literacy, and I have new insights to share about writing and editing for games, and how to promote reading through gaming.

Far from destroying or distracting from reading in kids' lives, games of all varieties can encourage it -- the most serious players are also often the most avid readers. GenCon hosts and promotes board games, card games, miniatures, role-playing games, and video games, and all of them can improve literacy and encourage reading and a love of good storytelling, from story-focused RPGs like Ultima III, to the descriptions on Magic: The Gathering cards. And as someone who learned to type by playing text-adventure computer games like Zork, gaming and writing share a closely-related place in my heart.

For a list of recommended websites for gaming research, click here: Where To Find Games

Build Your Brain Through Gaming

Games don't have to rot the mind. Learning rules, observing patterns, thinking your way around obstacles, and practicing computation, memorization, language and social skills are all demonstrated benefits of playing games, from Settlers of Catan to Assassin's Creed. Furthermore, these cerebral power-ups are accessible to anyone, from young kids just beginning to read, to seniors keeping their faculties sharp, to the learning-disabled or challenged.  Or to introverted nerds who wouldn't otherwise socialize, or to military history buffs who find a fun way to pass on their knowledge to their kids, or to writers who need inspiration for a difficult film noir. Games contain knowledge and require skill, and they can make you smarter.

Pay Attention to the Story

An imaginative person can create intricate plots about the downfall of empires out of a game of solitaire, but great stories make great games and great memories. Make the stakes high, the opponents spectacular, and the choices agonizing. Just as video game soundtracks are now producing incredible symphonic, polyphonic compositions, so some of the best stories currently being told are coming through games, whether on a console, a tabletop, or a deck of cards. 

If you're creating a game, read books with similar settings and look for how you can use the setting, characters' perspectives, and the gameplay mechanics to create an intriguing narrative. If you're playing a game, watch for hints and foreshadowing -- and especially if you play traditional RPGs like D&D, don't just hack-and-slash your way through the campaign. It makes the DM sad.

Proofread Your Games

Edit, edit, edit. Manuals, packaging, in-game text, and the game's materials -- proofread it all. It would embarrassing to find out after the fact that you published a game called "Doom of the Drangon" (instead of "Dragon"), or described your characters' "Attaca Pionts" (attack points?), or referred to Aragorn as "Aragon" -- all typos I witnessed this weekend.

Especially if you're distributing to an international market, consult a proofreader who is an expert in the language of the country you're selling to. Amusingly bad translation mistakes like "Conglaturation!!! A Hero Is You!" or "All your base are belong to us" are notorious enough to have dance remixes on YouTube (although they did make Zero Wing much more memorable).  What's more, translation errors can make gameplay incredibly frustrating. One of my favourite video games had a boss battle during which a character shouted the warning, "Attack while its tail is up!"  It was supposed to say, "Don't attack while its tail is up."  I attacked, got creamed by the monster's laser counterattack, and barely avoided having all my fighters killed.

P.S. The highlight of this year's GenCon was watching Deadpool dancing with Mario and Luigi in front of the Klingon Opera.

He Said, She Said: Making Sense of Dialogue Tags

Most creative writing guides offer a list of synonyms for the word "said," to avoid monotony and allow more emotional expression in character dialogue. Instead of John said, Alice said, these guides suggest alternatives like John stammered, Alice scoffed, John gasped, Alice tittered. It's valuable advice -- in small doses.

Beginning writers tend to get carried away with the exciting new alternatives, replacing every instance of the word "said" with a more demonstrative verb, until their characters look like emotionally unhinged train wrecks. The end result is, at best, distracting; at worst, hilarious.  Compare the following two passages, one with boring he said, she said dialogue tags, and the other with excessive use of a thesaurus.

Passage #1:

"What do you think of it so far?" Alice asked.
"Well," said John, "I think it got off to a good start."
"Does that mean you didn't like the end?" asked Alice.
"Honestly?" John asked.
"Honestly," Alice said.
"I think it went downhill pretty fast," said John.
"You're right, it doesn't have much content," said Alice.
"I'm already bored," said John.

Passage #2:

"What could it be?" I questioned.
"I've never seen readings like this before," he babbled.
"It could be a sentient species," I hissed.
"Too bad we're too far from Earth to ever report our findings," he chortled.
"I wonder if we could ever communicate with another race," I confessed.
"Wait, I'm losing the signal," he whimpered.
"Try to triangulate its source using our trajectory," I roared.

The first example is acceptable, but leaves something to be desired. The characters are speaking in a vacuum. The second example picks dialogue tags pretty much at random; it makes the characters look insane and the author look like an amateur. Both are very common among novice writers, usually as a result of the writing advice they were given in secondary school, but by using elements of both, you can easily make your writing more sophisticated.

Here's a more specific, balanced guide to help you indicate who is speaking, without overwhelming the reader with your characters' theatrical speaking styles.

1. There's nothing wrong with "said" (or "asked").

Writing manuals warn that repeated use of "said" is too dull and monotonous, but perception studies have shown that readers barely even notice the word as their eyes skim over it. Like a punctuation mark, "said" is registered on an almost subliminal level, so the reader tracks the change in speaker but stays immersed in the dialogue. More forceful tags like hollered, spat, murmured, or pronounced disrupt a reader's attention, especially when the chosen tag is not a good match for the line.  And definitely be sparing with non-emotional synonyms for said, like stated, remarked, or disclosed. Those verbs belong in a scholarly or newspaper article.

2. Don't use a dramatic verb to prop up a weak line of dialogue.

The characters, not the narration, should carry the emotions of a scene. If you feel that you have to use a tag like stormed, sighed, or sobbed to convey the emotion and delivery of a line, see if you can make the line itself more powerful instead, through word choice and/or punctuation. 

Weak: "Get out, I don't want to see you anymore," Alice screamed and sobbed.
Stronger: "Out! Get out!" Alice sobbed. "I never want to see you again!"

3. Use the surrounding action to differentiate dialogue.

Give your narrative variety, and kill several birds with one stone, by using a character's motions, body language, or other descriptions to show who is speaking. This approach breaks up the monotony of a long dialogue, keeps the plot moving forward during conversations, and adds depth and vitality to a scene. Example:

Sam returned and set full tumblers of bourbon in front of each of them. "You'd better be careful who you tell your pet theories to. Clahan's a big name in this town, and he's not afraid to stamp out this kind of rumor at its source, if you follow me."
"But you believe me, don't you?" John's knuckles whitened on the arms of his chair, whiskey ignored for now. "This isn't just corruption, this is murder."
"Sure, but I'm not the one you have to convince." Sam swiveled his chair behind the desk, turning to look out over the skyline. "I'm retired, remember? I don't have any pull in this city anymore."

This approach allows forward motion, scenery description, and character development, and it should still be clear who is talking.

4. Avoid the truly ridiculous.

Don't confuse dialogue tags with facial expressions. Snidely Whiplash at his most dastardly couldn't actually sneer a line; that's an action, not a way of saying something. Likewise, grin, frown, scowl, and pout are not good dialogue tags. Keep the word if it fits, but phrase it correctly, as an action.

Good: John grinned. "So what did you bring me?"
Silly: "I knew you would bring me something," John grinned.

Be careful with animal, weather, and musical concepts. Roared, thundered, erupted, trumpeted, caroled, barked, and hissed are all highly vivid and melodramatic, but they only work if they are a truly perfect fit for the line. If your choice of such a tag is even a little off-target, your dramatic moment will read like a Madlib.

Good: "Rage, blow, you cataracts and hurricanoes!" roared King Lear into the teeth of the rising gale.
Silly: "I only have to work a half-day tomorrow," bugled the accountant.

No puns in dialogue tags. None. Aficionados of the ham-handed Tom Swift adventure stories may remember the groan-worthy puns that peppered each chapter; these were corny in the 1920s and they have not improved with time. Resist the temptation.

"We'd better run," he said evasively.
"There's no air in your tire," he said flatly.
"I'm trying to finish Old Yeller," he said doggedly.

Disclaimer: With the exception of the quote from King Lear, all dialogue samples in this post were created by the author expressly for this purpose. No other published works were quoted or copied.

Yes, grammar is still valued in the workplace

And here is a persuasive article on exactly why it should be: "I Won't Hire People Who Use Poor Grammar," by iFixit CEO Kyle Wiens. (I include the full title because the URL got abbreviated in an unfortunate place.)

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/07/i_wont_hire_people_who_use_poo.html

Wiens views grammar as a predictor of work habits: it can reveal you to be conscientious, bright, able to master basic concepts and apply knowledge; or ...not. A prospective employee who cannot master the their/there/they're distinction, says Wiens, is likely to make equally basic errors in stocking shelves, programming computers, or assembling parts. In a market saturated with job seekers, applications with errors usually go straight in the shredder.

Would you like me to proofread your resume now?

Free QR tags for business cards and flyers

This website provides QR tags (those barcodes you can scan with your phone) absolutely free of charge. Happy to recommend in exchange for the very useful service.

 http://goqr.me/

Online Writing Communities

LogoDaedalus is an active editor and reviewer for several online writing communities. Check out the list in the sidebar for links to these marvelous storyboards and fora, and to share the privilege of reading brand-new stories for free.

Grand Opening

LogoDaedalus "The Wordsmith" Editing is up and running! Heartfelt thanks to the people whose support made this venture possible.